When I first moved to The Gambia in 2016 and started full time language learning, I was told that the goal was to help me to become a lifelong language learner. I am always learning and experiencing something new and as I tip toe into this new ministry the learning curve is very steep.
I was recently invited to attend a wedding at a Gambian friend’s compound. She is an older lady who has been a huge help in my language and culture learning. We love to sit, chat and laugh like crazy. I knew if she was specifically inviting me I needed to attend the wedding to encourage and support her as well as strengthen our relationship.
Weddings here are not like weddings in the US, most are a very complicated arrangement between two families and this is a polygamous culture. Weddings also consist of two parts starting with a tying ceremony and then weeks, months or even years later the second part with bringing the bride to live with the husband and his family. My friend is the groom’s mother and this wedding was the welcoming of the new bride to their home and preparing a place for her.
I first stopped by in the morning to drop off some money so that they would be able to purchase some more gifts for the bride, prepare her house and have food for the celebration upon her arrival. Their house was freshly painted, but her room was completely empty when I arrived. I returned about 5pm and they had made a little bit of progress on getting the bride’s house ready. However, the ingredients had not been purchased to start cooking dinner so I knew this would turn into a long night. Everything is cooked from scratch and over a fire so it can take a long time. I was glad that I had driven my car so that I could stay later into the evening especially when I saw they were preparing my favorite meal.
I spent lots of time chatting with and getting to know the extended family while working on my language and culture learning. This turned out to be a very small wedding and I was quickly placed into a special role for the wedding arrangements and made an honorary family member. Myself and some other women of the family went to the bride’s home (not too far away) where we presented her representatives with gifts and we talked about what good people the mother in law and cowife are and we prayed for the marriage. I was definitely nervous as I did not want to make a mistake and I have never been in any role like this before. It was a bit easier as I knew one of the bride’s representatives well. After dropping off the gifts, praying and having the gifts accepted we returned to the groom’s home to await dinner and the bride’s arrival. What a blessing to be able to pray for this union in the name of Jesus.
We waited and we waited and we waited. In the waiting I got to know the family better and experience their culture more including watching a wrestling match on television and part of an African soap opera. I also was on babysitting duty which I gladly accepted. They don’t allow me to help cook and there were plenty of cooks in the kitchen. Around 10pm dinner was finished and the final negotiations with the families were completed so that the bride could be brought to her new home and wedding ceremony. I quickly ate (and got some leftovers) and then it was my job to bring the bride to her new home with lots of hoopla. This required me squishing 6 ladies in the car including the bride as she tried to stay covered with a veil. We also placed her gifts in and on top of the car and had her family following behind the car. A grand entrance is important so at 10:45 pm I was honking my horn and revving my engine to announce her arrival!
Yes, I went home shortly after delivering the bride. I am grateful for the relationships I have here that allow me these amazing language and culture opportunities. I pray that some of these opportunities would blossom into gospel opportunities and that they would see the light of Christ through me. I hope you enjoyed hearing a little bit about the differences in weddings here and the many language and culture learning opportunities.
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